


the stronger word

by noneislefttoprotest



Series: a curse and a family [1]
Category: The Key to Cygnus (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, BIG ENDGAME SPOILERS FOR THE KEY TO CYGNUS, Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Non-Binary Character, Children of Characters, F/F, Feelings Realization, Friends With Benefits, From Sex to Love, Gen, Idiots in Love, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Insecurity, Love Confessions, Multi, Other, The Key to Cygnus spoilers, Trauma, dealing with trauma with your own gay hands, that's it that's this pairing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:09:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29430057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noneislefttoprotest/pseuds/noneislefttoprotest
Summary: Gretchen learned to love herself through her love for others.
Relationships: Andy Greenwish/Altair Finch (mentioned), Eliza Finch/Reginald Finch (background), Gretchen Finch/Cassiopeia (The Key to Cygnus), Margareth Rose/Hatyssa (mentioned)
Series: a curse and a family [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2161854
Kudos: 1





	the stronger word

**Author's Note:**

> it is my absolute honor to be the first one to post in the tktc tag, and posting canon stuff at that!!!!
> 
> this has 100% gotten the blessing to be posted from mirach and thabit
> 
> title from virginia woolf

Gretchen had been with Cass for years.

  


First, she was just another one of her lovers, magical edition. Once she left the brothel, she was a friend with benefits, and occasional emotional support. Now…

  


Now she didn't know what the fuck they were.

  


Nothing had changed, physically. They still fucked on a regular basis, they still hung out and did dumb shit, but… some things had changed since their last big adventure. Gretchen had changed.

  


It… was hard, for someone like her, to show her appreciation for her loved ones in an outward way. Peter had been an exception to the rule, and even now, with the twins and another kid on the way, plus Andy's kid, she was always afraid that something bad would happen to them. That some bastard would want to take them away from her family for their magic, or just… for spite.

  


She was always physically affectionate with Cassie, but she was touchy with everybody… right?

  


It was probably not smart to think about feelings when she was currently being so touchy with her, she was being beaten to a pulp.

  


"Are you done yet?"

  


She was… in a losing position, to say the least. Down on the floor, one arm pinned above her head, each one of Cassie's thighs firmly holding on to either side of her hips. Gretchen could hear the other crew members hollering at her. None of her possibilities were good - she couldn't overpower Cass' weight, she had only one hand free, and she was starting to lose feeling on her legs. She slammed her hand three times on the floorboards. Cheering erupted as she felt her weight lift off of her body.

  


She sat up and shouted "best of five." The audience bristled.

  


"Can you take it?" Cass asked tauntingly, but she knew by the way she bowed her head that it was a genuine question.

  


"Yeah, what'd ya take me for?" Gretchen winked, with her trademarked rascal smirk™. She got in position.

  


A voice counted back from three, and it was time for her to get back in the now, not in the feelings of it.

  


Cassiopeia always started with a one-two, easy to dodge if you knew what was coming. Her left leg raised up, aiming for her ribs, and Gretchen closed down and punched her on the hip. Kicks were effective, but they cost you time - Gretch was faster, and had already turned and hit her with a right hook. 

  


"Ooh, bit slow, huh?" she couldn't help but be a brat.

  


The angry glint in Cassie's eye was the reaction she was fishing for. now she was less predictable - better for Gretchen, with less training, to learn from, but cathartic for Cass. She took one, two side hooks in the face when she tried to counter attack, and backing up was less of an option, unless she wanted to fall into the ocean.

  


(Wouldn't be a bad idea, but magic was forbidden for spars like this.)

  


The more she got pummeled, the more that daring smile showed up on Cassie's face. The one that said that not only was she in her element, but enjoying it, too. It made her feel… something whenever she saw it.

  


Gretchen hated losing, but she did it on purpose for her. That's what scared her, and making her think of feelings like some sort of  _ child _ .

  


(well, she did get to be a child. it just didn't last long.)

  


Not like she didn't put up a fight. It wasn't rewarding to lose with no effort, after all. But eventually she had to let her legs give out from under her and surrender.

  


The audience cheered, again. It would be humiliating if she didn't know and love them.

  


"D'you wanna go for a best of seven, or are you done  _ now _ ?" Cass taunted, as she helped pull her up. 

  


Gretchen wiped a bit of blood off of her nose. "Think 'm done for now." she smirked. "Unless you wanna go for another round tonight-"

  


She promptly got a hand shoved against her face. Expected.

  


She turned to her audience of magical creatures, people, and children and bowed dramatically, and then strode off to a bathroom to make use of the Black Rose's perfect magical bathtubs.

  


─────⋆⋅🔆🌙⋅⋆ ─────

  


"Do you like… know? Before it's out?"

  


Eliza chuckled at her sister-in-law's vague description.

  


"No, but I have… kind of a gut feeling? That's why I called you over here, I… I'm pretty sure this one's going to be your niece."

  


Gretchen's excitement shot through the roof - she could barely contain it. The Finch women were always strong, determined. With Eliza's blood and Gretchen's training, this next one was going to be unstoppable.

  


"You can feel them, here." Eliza took her hand and directed it to her belly. Gretchen… felt something move, and gasped.

  


"I can feel- hello, little baby!" she got overwhelmed by the intense feeling of kinship she felt with this child. It moved again. "Can you feel me? I'm your aunt Gretchen! You're gonna be around me a lot!"

  


Eliza giggled, seeing this feared, reckless pirate turn into mush by feeling a baby move. "I think they like you already."

  


Gretchen scoffed. "They better. They're gonna have no choice but to like me." she said, with an exaggerated air of confidence. She didn't get to be around for most of her best friend's previous pregnancies, and she was enjoying every bit of this one. Sorcerers' gestation periods were so short, they went by in the blink of an eye.

  


Eliza was the only person Gretchen could have a comfortable silence with. Not even with her oldest brother, who… was not here, anymore, but before that, they had a period of time where a lot of awkward silences happened. She just had this… peaceful air about her, that made the silence comfortable. The cloud of anxiety that followed around Altair was decidedly different.

  


(his kid was the only reminder of him around, now. She kind of envied Andy for having a better connection with her brother than she did. Maybe she could've gotten used to it. He did leave them all behind equally, though, so.)

  


After a while of comfortable silence, with no kids running around, no emergencies to be attended to, and no magical tricks to clean up, Eliza spoke up.

  


"So…"

  


"So?"

  


"You've been losing a lot of boxing matches lately."

  


"Wow, you don't need to be like that."

  


"That's not what I mean. You know what I mean."

  


"What if I don't want to know what you mean?"

  


Eliza looked at her, with a soft and caring look in her eyes. It could always look right through Gretchen.

  


"You've been talking to me about this ever since you became immortal, and yet, there's nothing you've done about it."

  


"I don't know what to do about it! I'm not… I'm not a romantic person, Eliza. I'm not someone who does this kind of stuff. I'm scared."

  


"What are you scared of? She isn't going to reject you. She can take care of herself, nothing dangerous is going to take her away from you."

  


"I… I know that. I'm just not…" she breathed out a laugh at the irony. "…not brave enough, I guess."

  


"You deserve happiness, Gretchen." she said, so softly it was almost a whisper. "You're not a bad person for wanting that."

  


"I don't… I don't want happiness to myself. I want it for the people I love. I can't… I can't lose anyone again, 'Liza."

  


Eliza sighed, and placed a hand on her belly. Right. How stupid was it of her to complain about the people  _ she'd _ lost, when Eliza had hundreds of lifetimes' worth of losses. Besides, some of Gretchen's people got back. Eliza could never get them back.

  


"I know how you feel, Gretch. I really, really do. But you can't deprive yourself of happiness because you fear losing it. You have to try again… and again, and again, until it sticks. That's the first lesson of immortality."

  


Gretchen didn't realize that there were tears in her eyes now. She had been trying to get along with her immortality, but… she had too much love for her family, both blood and found, and what good was she if she couldn't sacrifice herself for them? Immortality had felt… wrong, for her. Selfish. She'd always counted that one day, there would be one battle she couldn't win, and there she would go. A worthless life, but at least she had fun living it.

  


Now, she had to actually make something of herself. And that was terrifying. 

  


Eliza grabbed her hands, and looked deeply into her eyes. “Trust me. she’s crazy for you. Whenever you’re ready, I promise you it’ll be worth it, okay?”

  


Gretchen nodded. Eliza hugged her for a while, then gave her a kiss on the forehead before leaving the room, her long black ponytail trailing behind her.

  


─────⋆⋅🔆🌙⋅⋆ ─────

  


Gretchen and Cassiopeia hung out a lot. Not so much that you couldn't see one without the other, but certainly more than any other pair that wasn't together. They had dinner together every night, and then took charge of the kids to give their parents a chance to eat. It wasn't an uncommon sight to see the two women running around with one of the four children in the ship, only to come by again later holding them in their arms, completely tuckered out. Sometimes, it all happened at once.

  


Gretchen handed Aquila, the youngest, to her parent, and told her brother that his sons were already in bed. Then, she met Cassie at the outside of the mess hall. they shared a look. Then they went, casual as ever, to the sleeping quarters portion of the ship.

  


As soon as they reached Cass' room, she hoisted Gretchen up by the thighs and slammed her against the door.

  


Before they proceeded with the usual events, Cass pulled back, looking worried.

  


"Are you sure you're up for this? You got pretty beat up in the morning."

  


"Don't worry, I'm fine." she touched Cassie's face. "I've been beaten up way worse and still got railed by you later."

  


She laughed, nestling her face against Gretchen's exposed collarbone, and her heart melted. The genuine smile on her face disarmed Gretchen more than any orgasm she'd ever given her. 

  


She didn't know how to deal with this, so she pulled Cassie in for a kiss. She pressed her whole body against her, pinning her against the closed door so hard she didn't need her hands to hold her. She used them to take off Gretchen's shirt, and then held her and brought her to bed, briefly inverting their positions: Gretchen straddling her body and using that vantage point to not only undress her, but to also attack her neck with her mouth. They didn't let go of each other until hours later, and even then, they fell asleep cuddling.

  


─────⋆⋅🔆🌙⋅⋆ ─────

  


Gretchen woke up first. when she wasn't drunk, she was always an early riser, and she was trying to be less drunk as of late. They had disentangled from each other during the night, but when Gretchen opened her eyes she saw Cassie's face, first thing. She thought about what Eliza had told her.

  


_ "She's crazy for you." _

  


Eliza would certainly not lie to her about that, but it felt just so… unrealistic. How could she? But all the evidence was there. The fact that they liked each other's company. That damned smile, that made her feel weak in the legs in a different way from her physique. The ease with which their talks went, the way she always worried she was going too hard during a spar.

  


Even now, she couldn't stop paying attention to the littlest things: how Cass' hair picked up the morning light, the hickeys she left on her the previous night around her neck and collarbone, the small scars she'd picked up from fighting over the years. Did she… think like this about  _ her _ ? Gretchen turned around on the bed, shoving her face in the pillow. Certainly not, she thought. Gretchen's roguishly good looks were meant to get her one-night stands, not… girlfriends.

  


And that was the problem, wasn't it? even in the other world, no one stuck with her as long as Cass did. They joked that she had twice as many people in her dating pool compared to Gretchen. And yet…

  


And yet she  _ did _ stick with her all this time, even through trips to alternate dimensions and times of fear and times of change. The one constant she had was that Cass would be there when she needed to fall into bed with someone.

  


She shifted back to look at the other woman's face again. She was the only one who could get her to be in… vulnerable positions during sex. Gretchen was always the pleasurer, not the pleasured. It had nothing to do with her taste for physically strong women, but just something about Cass just… getting her. She wouldn't think any less of her as a pillow princess. And Gretchen simply didn't mind her taking the lead on most things they did together, not even just sex.

  


It was good, she thought, to give up control in a way that she knew wouldn't end in tragedy. The list of people she trusted with her whole being was short, but Cass was definitely in it. so, why was Gretchen so sure that confessing (was that even the right word?) would end up so badly?

  


Gretchen didn't know. She didn't know what to do about it. for now, she'd just… watch her, she guessed. Until she either fell asleep again, or until Cass woke up.

  


She'd take an action later.

  


Maybe.

  


─────⋆⋅🔆🌙⋅⋆ ─────

  


The kids  _ really _ enjoyed storytelling time. they loved to cheer for Gretchen and Reggie's theatrics, to hear about the pirates' adventures from before they were born, and to give their little opinions on everything that happened.

  


Gretchen could _ maybe _ picture herself as a mother someday. For now, she'd be the coolest aunt these kids could ever expect to have.

  


"And then, he was like 'nooo don't stab me!' and then the princess went-"

  


"Ha, you think I harbor any mercy for you, dirty pirate?" her brother said, in a shrill falsetto. "And then, she stabbed him through the heart!" he said, slipping the wooden sword between Gretchen's arm and torso. Four tiny voices gasped.

  


"Don't let her get away!!" Pollux, one of the twins, screamed.

  


"You don't even know… that I have no heart!" Gretchen exclaimed, and Reggie gasped dramatically. She took the wooden sword out of his hands and pointed it at his throat. The kids cheered.

  


"Now, let my crew go, or your pretty little head will be out in the sea!"

  


Reggie gasped, again. "You darned pirates! You have bested me again!"

  


Gretchen raised an eyebrow at the censoring, but didn't interrupt the story. She lowered the fake sword.

  


"I will spare your life, princess, because you let my people go. But next time, you won't get away like this!"

  


Their audience clapped, and their little voices started speaking all at once, suggesting the next story they should tell.

  


"Calm down, calm down. Everyone has picked a story today already, except for Kastor." Reggie said, followed by a chorus of little "aaaww"s and "but I wanted to hear the story about the jail again!"

  


"Um… can you tell the story about how you guys met mom?" the quieter twin asked. Gretchen and her brother looked at each other. The way he raised his eyebrows told her that if she didn't want to tell it, it was okay.

  


Gretchen didn't ever back down, even if it was going to hurt her. So, she started:

  


"Well, it all began when your daddy did a very stupid thing, and got himself in prison for it."

  


The kids giggled. Reggie had that funny, incredulous look on his face.

  


"Well, first of all, it was because Nicholas kidnapped me, and the easier way out was to get myself arrested."

  


"And while he was in prison, your mom was also there! And they were cellmates, for the three months they were there."

  


"Oh my gods, they were cellmates." Pollux whispered loudly to his twin.

  


"And, uh… we came out of there in love! that's what happened." Reginald sputtered, not wanting to go through all the details of their relationship to a handful of toddlers and one older child.

  


"Oh, that's an absolute lie. he hated her guts at first." Gretchen interrupted, first talking to him, and then, her niblings. "After breaking out of the prison together, they spent a while together in the Black Rose, and  _ that's _ when they fell in love."

  


"...yeah, okay. I only knew she was in there for witchcraft, and… well, one day she suddenly became a man, so. But it all turned out okay in the end." he shrugged, but giving off vibes of 'please stop doing this'

  


"And then, after all that, I brought the Pride to Ireland, where the Black Rose also was. And then I met your mom, and got our real captain back!" Gretchen summed up.

  


"You brought the ship?" little Aquila asked. "Does that mean you were the captain, aunt Gretchen?"

  


She inwardly cursed. She'd been aware that Aquila had the same natural talent she did, of perceiving what was underneath people's words, getting through to their hearts. It wasn't as good when it was a three-year-old reading what you didn't want to talk about. She sighed.

  


"Yes, I was. It wasn't… a very good time for me. Or anyone in that ship." she weighed what she was going to say next, and decided to go for it. "Your dad and I hung out a lot, at the time."

  


The little girl's eyes brightened up, as they always did at the mention of her father. Gretchen felt her brother's eyes boring into her.

  


(her remaining brother, her mind oh- _ so _ -helpfully supplied.)

  


"Yeah, uh… he wasn't the best people person, but it was nice to hang out with him after a day of being disrespected by my underlings." She chuckled. "I  _ really _ didn't want to be a captain."

  


Realizing that she took the story into the darker side of the events, she pulled back. "So, when I met Eliza, I actually realized I'd met her before!"

  


The kids gasped. "really?"

  


"Yeah! I kissed her once, at an inn. We didn't click like that, but we immediately became best friends."

  


"...and then she fed you a rock."

  


"And then, she fed me a moon rock, because she wanted to spend more time with me. And her idea of how to do that was… training." she frowned. "It was hard, but not bad. She's a good teacher."

  


"Did you do the whole training?" Aquila asked again. Gretchen laughed.   
  


"Nooo, no, if I did the whole training I would be training until now. I learned the basics. That's also when she made us these" and pointed to the blue friendship bracelet she always wore. "And that's about it! they got married afterwards, and the rest you know."

  


The kids clapped. Soon, Reggie announced it was the end of storytime, and Gretchen carried Aquila back to her parent as Reggie and Eliza herded their kids to a different activity. Along the way, her little niece asked:

  


"Aunt Gretchen, do you have any other stories about my dad?"

  


She sighed. the little girl looked so much like him, it was kind of painful. shte didn't have time to think of this.

  


"Well, we were very different people. But…" she interjected, remembering something. "In the other world, he helped me cut my hair."

  


Aquila looked at her with disbelief. "You cut your hair?? But it's so big!"

  


She chuckled. "Yeah, well. I guess it happened in a memory, in the other world, but I tried to be a rebel and cut it off. He helped it look less like… a mess. And more like short hair. It was always like that, I'd do shit wrong and he would help me get it right. He was a good guy, your dad. Don't ever forget that, okay?"

  


She nodded. "You're still very sad, right?"

  


Gretchen suddenly had a lump in her throat, and needed to leave immediately. "Yes. I… guess I am."

  


She handed her back to Andy, with a teasing "your daughter asks a lot of questions, like you did back in the day." and rushed back to her quarters.

  


Gretchen didn't cry. She didn't deal with her emotions. She drank herself to the point of numbness and ignored anything that came afterwards.

  


But she lost her brother. She lost her big brother, the guy who'd always be with her in awkward silence, the guy who would help her fix her mistakes, the guy who was the calm presence to her and Reginald's fieriness. He never wanted anything to do with leadership. He just wanted to be the way he was, and to not make anyone's life worse. She was genuinely happy when he got involved with Andy, even though he had no clue about their actual identity at the time.

  


And he'd left them all behind. To live what would be a happier life. A better life, in the future. She'd never realized how unhappy he'd been until that moment.

  


She'd tried to stop herself from even thinking about his name. Some would've thought she forgot. But he did mean something to her. She could never forget him.

  


"Altair…" she sobbed into the pillow, crying for the first time in years.

  


─────⋆⋅🔆🌙⋅⋆ ─────

  


Cassiopeia eventually found her - they shared quarters -, but at that point Gretchen wasn't crying anymore. Her face was red and swollen, and she felt… numb. Unusual, for someone who felt everything very strongly. She didn't even have the will to talk. So, Cass led her slowly to a bathroom, and helped her bathe. She chatted idly to her, slowly coaxing her into talking again, and Gretchen thought she didn't deserve to have this woman in her life. She'd always helped her care for herself, sure - the Pride never had the magical infrastructure that the Black Rose does - but even after bawling her eyes out, she wasn't alone.

  


She'd been thinking a lot about their relationship lately. This was everything that made her doubt it.

  


Eventually, Gretchen let out a laugh at a dumb joke Cass made, and that immediately cleared the mood. They went back to their normal banter, and eventually, Gretchen was laying against Cass's chest in the bathtub, and everything felt normal, and quiet.

  


"Hey, Cass…" she shifted her head. "Thanks."

  


"It's not a big deal, babe. Do you mind if I ask?"

  


"The kid just… made me feel things about my brother. The… other one." she sighed. "I don't think I had ever mourned him."

  


"Do you think you'll need to do it again?" she asked, stroking her arm.

  


"...Maybe? I… don't know. I needed it this time, I guess. It just… it feels so weird. He didn't actually die."

  


"But he's not here anymore."

  


"But he's not here anymore, exactly. It's… weird. I don't want to think about it anymore."

  


Cass hummed, and Gretchen could feel the vibrations where their bodies met. It was just them, the feel of each other's body and the water against their skin. Gretchen felt the urge to do something stupid.

  


She turned her torso around and pressed her lips to Cass', not in any way like she'd ever done before. It was a gentle kiss, something out of a romance story. Cass didn't immediately pick it up.

  


"Babe, are you sure you're up for this…?"

  


"No, no, this isn't…" she sighed. "It's… I don't… I don't want to fuck right now."

  


"That's a new sentence for you."

  


"I know, I… I guess I'm thanking you. For being here for me. But not a 'thank you' fuck. I don't know. I just wanna be with you, okay?"

  


Cass smiled softly. "Of course it's okay."

  


Gretchen nestled her head against her neck, and just stayed there. As a sun sorcerer, Cass naturally ran hot - and Gretchen was lean, with nothing to help her keep warm. Cuddling with Cassie neutralized both of their temperatures. They… ugh, this was cliché. But they completed each other.

  


She decided to stop that line of thinking as soon as she realized she sounded like her lovestruck brother. Nothing was worse than sounding like him.

  


─────⋆⋅🔆🌙⋅⋆ ─────

  


The Black Rose never gave up on a chance for a party. The positive atmosphere of the ship didn't care that Gretchen had a bad day, and she was thankful for it as soon as she heard the first few notes of a fiddle.

  


It wasn’t the same bad day, but she’d been in kind of a rut since she allowed herself to feel grief over Altair. She always felt everything very strongly; these new things she was learning to feel were no different. She was… coping, for once in her life. It  _ still _ wasn’t making her feel any better, but at least she wasn’t self-destructive this time around.

  


Actually, Gretchen would guess she was, in fact, feeling a little better. Looking after the kids, being around Cassie and Eliza and the rest of her family without needing to be the responsible one, or the attention-seeking one, just… being there. Beginning in her teens, she had learned to loathe every second of her existence. Seven years of continued trauma took its toll on her, but she didn’t have time for it. She  _ had _ to take care of her brothers, she  _ had _ to protect her crew, she  _ had _ to-

  


She didn’t  _ have _ to drink herself to near death. But it made it easier.

  


Cass left early this morning - usually Gretchen would also be an early riser, but Cass had been letting her mope lately - and she suspected it had something to do with the current party. She put on one of her looser shirts, after considering stealing one of her… one of Cassie’s ripped shirts. She tucked it into her pants, stepped into her boots, tied her mane back with a scrap of fabric and was ready to go.

  


Gretchen sighed. Back in the other world, she’d learned about mindfulness, and positive thinking. It might have been just some hippie bullshit, but what doesn’t kill you…

  


“It’s going to be fine. It’s going to be… a day, and there’ll be people you like. And you won’t feel bad all the time.” she whispered to herself.

  


That was good enough. right? She didn’t care. Time to go.

  


As soon as she hit the deck, the bright colors of the decorations hanging all around the ship threw her for a loop. She wasn’t expecting a  _ party _ party, but… not a bad surprise. The crew of the ship were milling around, but she didn’t see a few important people, Cassie included. She already suspected why.

  


“Aunt Gretchen! Aunt Gretchen!” she heard, and was promptly swarmed by her small gang of niblings. Aquila and Pollux were extra hyper, chattering at her about the party, while Kastor, as always, was calmer and wordlessly stretched his little arms so she could pick him up. Peter, the oldest, was approaching his teenage years. She’d always talked to the kids like adults, and he was the most appreciative of it.

  


“Are you gonna dance at the party, Pete?” she asked.

  


“I don’t know… are you?”

  


She scoffed. “Of course! I'll save my first dance for you if you do.”

  


That got a positive reaction out of him. “Okay, then I will!” Peter exclaimed, bouncing on his feet.

  


“Yeah, that’s the spirit! How ‘bout you, pipsqueak?” Gretchen asked the toddler on her arms.

  


“I like the music!” he said. “But I'm too little to dance…”

  


“Oh, I danced with Peter when he was even littler than you! That's it, I'm gonna dance with you both.”

  


And, of course, that activated that sense that kids have to  _ need _ to be included on the other two, and Gretchen ended up promising to dance with all of them. Eventually, they each got distracted with something else, and she paced around the deck listening to Kastor tell her about how everyone put up the decorations, until he asked politely to be put back down on the floor, and chased after the troublemakers.

  


Gods, she loved these kids.

  


She finished walking around the deck, and spotted Andrew sitting on a pile of crates in a corner, spacing out.

  


_ Eh, what the hell. _

  


“Ey, Andy.” she greeted from a few steps away. They looked at her, and smiled. 

  


“Hey, Gretch. The kids giving you any trouble?”

  


She clicked her tongue as she sat beside them. “Nah, I love the little shits. They each owe me a dance, though.”

  


He breathed out a laugh. “Yeah, I'm watching over them until the party starts. Reggie and Eliza deserve to sleep in a little.”

  


Gretchen nodded pointedly. “For suuure. They do so much already, and ‘Liza is so big she looks like she’s gonna pop at any moment.”

  


Andy made an agreeing sound, and they looked back to see Peter chasing one of the twins - probably Pollux -, who seemed to have stolen something from the kitchen. The two aunts chuckled at the sight.

  


“So…” Andy started, and Gretchen was really tired of people in her life starting to ask her things with an awkward “so”, “Aquila told me the other day that you seemed a bit bummed after storytime.”

  


She sighed. “Yeah. we… ended up telling a story or two about Altair, and it kind of…” she mimicked an explosion with her hands.

  


They nodded. “If you ever wanna talk… I can probably relate to the situation.”

  


“Gods.” Gretchen laughed drily. “You must’ve been in hell, huh? How the hell do you… deal with this shit. I mean… it’s not like it couldn’t be helped, it’s not as if he got killed. He just… made a decision. That was so reasonable I can’t even be mad at him.”

  


“Yeah. I felt the same way. Guilty, too, because what if I had stayed with him? Would it be better?” Andy said, with the certainty of someone who had thought about this over and over and over again. Gretchen nodded at him. “The thing is… ‘what ifs’ just don’t work. You live a better life if your head is here, and not in the endless possibilities. Y’know?”

  


Gretchen let out a heavy sigh. “Yeah. I just feel so bad because… well. You guys’ kid is three fucking years old. And I still can’t look her in the face without remembering him, and it hurts like hell.”

  


“She does look like him, doesn’t she?” he smiled. “But it doesn’t hurt me anymore. I mean, I love her to bits, and the fact that she reminds me of him just reminds me that I loved him, as well. Still do.”

  


They stayed in comfortable silence for a while, looking at the horizon.

  


“...how did you know?”

  


“Hmm?”

  


“That you love him. How do you know that?”

  


They gave her a side-eye glance. “I think I first started getting used to the idea of it when Nathan told us about Sapphire in conversation.” Gretchen let out a surprised laugh. “Yeah, I know, right? But that’s when I just started going with the flow, being more aware of my feelings. I think that I  _ really _ realized it when he got badly hurt, during a fight.”

  


“Shit, was it that battle with the French navy?” Gretchen asked. She remembered her brother had sustained a nasty injury on that one, about a year before the plan to kidnap the princess came along.

  


“The one we were afraid we’d have to amputate his leg, yeah. That’s when I realized how afraid I was to lose him, when he was all feverish and I was praying for the wound to not get infected, just constantly burning it and giving him booze.” they chuckled. “I couldn’t see myself living without him, back then. I would think about the future, about kids, about literally anything, and he’d be right there next to me.”

  


“How do you know  _ now _ ?”

  


They sighed. “ I know it because the memory of him keeps me going. I see him… everywhere, still. I can't see anyone else in the place I used to see him. And… Aquila.” they smiled. “There’s so much of him in her, and I know that’s going to be good for her in the future.”

  


Gretchen bristled. “You’re strong as hell, you know that?”

  


“I had to be. It hurt, but… learning how to live with the pain made me a better person. You don’t have to run away from the pain,  _ Captain _ Gretchen Finch.” he finished, teasingly.

  


She lightly shoved an elbow on their ribs. “Now, don’t you fucking call me that.”

  


The two of them laughed, Gretchen breathing out a “worst time of my  _ fucking _ life” at the end.

  


They enjoyed the energy that hung in the air for a while, just glad to be in each other’s company, when cheering erupted from the side of the deck that led to the general quarters. From the door, Serena and Thetis emerged, wearing their traditional dance attire. Eliza, normally the third of their trio, was replaced by Cassiopeia this time around… also in traditional garb.

  


Sexiness, Gretchen knew, was less about how much skin you showed and more about how you  _ hid _ it. She was extremely familiar with every inch of Cassie’s body, and yet, the vision of her in the double-slit skirt and off-the-shoulder top made her feel twelve different things, and at least half of them were variations on horny.

  


The musicians began playing, and the girls started dancing and singing. Gretchen couldn’t take her eyes off of them.

  


One of them, specifically. She was  _ fully _ aware of that fact.

  


Eventually, her focus was taken away by a nine-year-old asking her to keep her promise and dance with him. So, she went. She’d been trying to teach him how to lead, recently, but it was going to be hard before he hit a growth spurt. Still, she had fun with her nephew, and then she danced with the younger ones. The way she did that was by holding them with one arm and holding their little hands with the other - that way, she could pretend-dance with them and also hand them over to someone else, as well as doing all kinds of acrobatics with them. It was incredibly fun, and she was distracted from her feeling-y feelings for a while.

  


But  _ oh _ , she couldn’t have a single moment of peace. Because eventually, a woman built like a brick shithouse wearing thin yellow fabric scooped her up from a dance with someone else, and her heart learned how to do a backflip straight off of the deck.

  


“Well, hello there. Are you always around here?” Cass asked, jokingly.

  


“Only when there’s pretty ladies in little clothing around. You?”

  


Cassie laughed. “So you liked the surprise, huh?”

  


“Fucking… How could I  _ not _ ?”

  


She was holding on to her shoulders while Cass spun them around, and they both had the biggest smile on their faces. Gretchen thought back to what Andy said. She could not, in  _ any _ circumstances, picture the future without Cass there. She couldn’t do anything, anywhere, without having some memory of their shenanigans there.

  


_ Shit, she  _ **_was_ ** _ in love _ .

  


Just being around Cass lightened up her heart, made her feel more comfortable in a way no one, and  _ nothing  _ else had ever done. When she thought about the vague possibility of being a mother, Cass was there. Every day of her life, she wished her parents could’ve met her. Gods, Anna and Cassie would get on like a house on  _ fire _ .

  


She wasn’t going to say it. Not in the middle of a dance. But she  _ knew _ , now.

  


There was nothing Gretchen would rather do with her immortality than spend it with Cassiopeia.

  


She started giggling, and then full-blown laughing. Holy  _ shit _ , she’s in love! Probably has been for years! It felt… good to know it, to be at peace with it. They danced around the deck, spun each other around, Cass lifted her a couple of times, and her face was hurting from how widely she was smiling.

  


Everything still hurt. The pain was still there. But she felt the love so strongly, right now. Surrounded by her  _ new _ family, scarred, fearful, but they loved each other so, so,  _ so _ much… they’d go through hell for each other.

  


Gretchen was loved. She was loved. She could love back. One day, she’d learn that.

  


─────⋆⋅🔆🌙⋅⋆ ─────

  


They had reached the magical archipelago, and Gretchen still hadn’t said it.

  


It’s not as if there wasn’t ample opportunity. She just wanted the time to feel  _ right _ . Not too close to the new baby, but also not… at sea. Nothing about being in high seas was super romantic. Maybe her opinion on that would change, but… well, maybe it was just her personal experience. Clearly  _ some _ people had no problems with it. 

  


"I win… again."

  


Gretchen groaned. "Princess, I don't believe you're  _ not _ using magic every goddamn time."

  


The (former) princess and current guardian just smiled at her. "I'm just really good at this!" she said, innocently, while she gathered up the cards for another round.

  


The idea of Margareth hanging out with her and playing cards of her own volition seemed like an impossibility a few years ago; but now, they'd managed to forge a friendship out of their shared experiences and found family, and genuinely enjoyed being in each other's presence.

  


The fact that Gretchen wasn't her kidnapper anymore probably helped, too.

  


"How have things been in the Rose?" she asked, dealing the cards.

  


"Y'know. Magical. A small gang of kids running around. Lots of dancing, still. The guardian life treating you well?"

  


Margareth shrugged. "Yeah. Still reading a lot, it's incredible. They have  _ so _ much information in the books here, literally… thousands of years of knowledge. I love it."

  


"Nerd." Gretchen muttered, teasingly. Marge only rolled her eyes as a response.

  


"I'll win again if you keep bantering."

  


"Hah. Try me."

  


The game proceeded in silence, Gretchen doing her best to focus…

  


…she still lost.

  


"Damn it!" she threw the cards on the table. "I don't want to play anymore."

  


"Aw, just because you're bad at it?"

  


"Hey." she pointed at Marge, smirking. "I taught you how to play this."

  


She shrugged again. "I got better! The pupil overcomes the master."

  


Gretchen muttered a meaningless "I'll overcome  _ your _ master", and leaned back on her chair.

  


Margareth stared at her. She stared back.

  


"What?"

  


"You seem… different."

  


"Different how?"

  


"I don't know. Lighter. It doesn't feel as if you're… closed up anymore."

  


Gretchen sighed heavily. "I… went through some shit. In here." she tapped her head when the princess made a shocked face, probably already thinking about a battle no one told her about. She hummed.

  


"Eliza said you were… dealing with emotions and stuff. She didn't tell me what, don't worry."

  


"Nah, she's not a snitch." Gretchen pondered her next words. "You… had a few siblings, right? In the royal family?"

  


"Yeah, my sisters. The oldest one got married off, and I last saw the youngest ones the day I… left. You know how that ended up."

  


She nodded. "And you haven't seen them since?"

  


A deep sadness came upon Marge's face. "No. I… I don't think I ever will. With the magic and…" she gestured vaguely with her hands, looking pointedly at Gretchen, in a way that she understood she meant "the gay thing". "Why do you ask?"

  


"…Altair."

  


"Ah."

  


They sat, quiet, for a few moments. Margareth, as if reading her mind, continued:

  


"I still love them deeply, even if I'll never see them again. I can only hope that they live as best of a life as they can, under their circumstances. I hope they're not suffering too much after my disappearance."

  


Gretchen nodded. "That's… what I've been trying to come to terms with. He's happier in the other dimension. and there's nothing I can do about it."

  


"And there's nothing you can do about it. It'll take time, but… don't feel like just because it's logical for you to get over it, that you'll need to do it fast." Margareth reached over the table and grabbed her hand. "We'll be here for you."

  


Gretchen smiled, tersely, and squeezed the guardian's hand.

  


"Besides… I think I might like this little family we made over here as much as I like my birth family. Probably even more." Marge paused to think. "I feel kind of bad for saying that, but… I can be myself, with all of you. We'll all love each other no matter what. I always felt like my parents' love was… conditional. If I were the perfect princess, the perfect heiress, then they would love me."

  


"You mean that you can be gay around us and no one's gonna judge you, because we're all just as gay." Gretchen said, breaking the mood. Margareth laughed.

  


"Pretty much, yeah."

  


"I really love what we've made here, too." she said, trying to be genuine as well. "I mean, it helps that some of my blood family is already here, but… I like how we're all broken and sad and that doesn't stop how much we can love and support each other, you know?"

  


The princess just nodded, and they sat there, holding hands. Margareth's presence was also comforting, albeit in a different way from Eliza's; while Eliza exuded a motherly kind of comfort, Marge felt more like what she imagined a sister would be llike. They were good at their own things, and they could relate to each other in spite of that. Maybe, even, because of it: they had learned a lot from each other, and would still learn more.

  


Gretchen breathed in, and said, strained:

  


"I think I'm gonna tell Cass that I'm in love with her."

  


The princess looked at her blankly.

  


"You… haven't?"

  


"No, I-" she shifted in her seat. "I don't think I knew it until, like, a month ago."

  


Marge gave her a look that was bordering pity. "Oh, that bad, huh?"

  


"I- okay. listen. I didn't know I  _ could _ . It just… sucked to be in a relationship, in my head. With my mom's death and all that, and then Reggie and Eliza… I don't think I realized I was kind of in one, already."

  


She raised her eyebrows. "Kind of? Gretchen. You two are never apart. You share a bedroom. If you knew how she talks about you-"

  


"Alright, alright, I'm  _ oblivious _ as hell. I get it. But… I'm not afraid of it anymore. I'm… finally ready to go for it, you know?"

  


Margareth grinned. "I'm proud of you for that. and it is…" she looked away, and it was painfully obvious she was thinking of her own girlfriend. " _ Extremely _ rewarding to be with someone who loves you. And to let it be known." she added, sternly.

  


Gretchen rolled her eyes again. She was about to say something else, but someone called for the guardian from down the hallway, and she sighed.

  


"I guess that's all the free time I have for now. It was good catching up with you, really." They both stood up and hugged each other.

  


"Thanks for hearing me out."

  


"Not a problem at all." she made her way out of the room, her long skirt swishing behind her. "Oh, and… the south beach is very peaceful, this time of year. Very romantic." she winked, and walked away.

  


Gretchen thought about it. Yeah, the beach… the empty beach would be nice.

  


Hold on.

  


_I'M_ _usually the one who winks at her!_

  


Unbelievable.

  


─────⋆⋅🔆🌙⋅⋆ ─────

  


They were walking on the south beach at sunset, like Margareth suggested. It was lovely, and empty, though the footsteps left behind in the sand implied it was a popular spot earlier in the day. The sky was painted with lovely shades of orange, yellow and pinks, and the few clouds looked purple. They could hear the crashing of the waves, and they felt both the heat of the setting sun and the cool wind against their skin, as well as the water ebbing and flowing over their feet.

  


They started the walk chatting, but now, the conversation had slowly fizzled out and they were just appreciating the scenery.

  


"So… what made you wander over here?" Cassie asked, gently. Gretchen shrugged.

  


"It's quieter… there's less people around, all that."

  


"You like people, though."

  


"Yeah. Just not up for all that today."

  


"You haven't been up to a lot, lately." Cass nudged her with a shoulder. "You wanna talk about it?"

  


She sighed. "I mean, it's that thing from before, that I'm… dealing with stuff. It's exhausting." she leaned into Cass, who put an arm around her shoulders. "I've been actually thinking about how I feel in relation to… a lot of things." she added, snaking an arm around Cass' waist. She breathed in before saying, "Including you… well, us."

  


They stopped walking, and turned to face each other. Gretchen was taller than an average woman by… a lot. And she needed to tilt her head up to see Cass' golden irises. She looked worried.

  


"Okay… what's on your mind about it?"

  


Gretchen breathed in, again. "Okay. Bear with me here. So, I've never really thought about feelings, uh, before? I just fucked and drank a lot until something else happened. And, well… it was hurting me. And then I started thinking about… my family, and… how I have to mourn them, still."

  


Cassie hummed, placing her hand in Gretchen's hair and stroking her gently while she talked.

  


"I… I never wanted to be in a relationship. in my head, all the good parts were… not as good, compared to the bad parts. You know, like my parents, and Reggie, and Andy… I thought that whatever you and I had was good enough of a replacement."

  


"And then?"

  


"…And then I talked to some people, and I realized that… we've been in a relationship for a while now, haven't we?"

  


Cassie nodded. "Does that… bother you?"

  


"No! No, I… well, that realization came with another realization, that uh… I'm completely in love with you. I wouldn't change what we have for… anything, and… it would be nice to have it for eternity." she finished, with a shy smile that very rarely graced her features.

  


Cass looked at her for a few moments, shocked. Then, she picked her up and spun her around, to which Gretchen let out a surprised yelp. They were both laughing.

  


"Do you have…  _ any _ idea how  _ long _ I've been waiting for you to say that?" Cass said, once she put her down.

  


Gretchen couldn't stop smiling. "I'm sorry I made you wait because of my bullshit, I-"

  


"No, no. I'd rather have you fully realized than be with a Gretchen that's upset all the time. I love you, too. I want to see you happy."

  


They stood there, in each other's arms, for a few moments. They both couldn't believe how well everything had turned out. Normally, that would be the moment where there was a big damn kiss, and everything in the world was alright, but… it didn't really hold the same meaning for them. They embraced, smiling widely, just taking in each other's presence and the love they now knew permeated every interaction they had.

  


It could've been five minutes, it could've been a thousand years, but eventually they untangled themselves from each other. When green eyes met gold, Gretchen decided, at last, that she did want to go for that kiss after all.

  


─────⋆⋅🔆🌙⋅⋆ ─────

  


A week later, their new niece Alasia was born. Eliza promised she’d let Gretchen choose her human name, and she went with Francine - shortened to Frankie, which was the name she whispered again and again to the newborn when she first held her in her arms, about a dozen hours after her birth. 

  


Cassie lifted her arm to caress the baby’s little cheek, and she stretched out her little arm and clutched at her finger with the super-strength unique to newborns. Both women gasped, amazed, and Eliza laughed.

  


“Gods, it’s like you’ve never seen a baby before.”

  


“It’s… different this time, okay?” Cassie said, still with a dumb smile on her face.

  


“Well, you better get used to her.” she responded, laying her head back on the pillow. “Little Alasia’s going to spend a lot of time sailing with her aunts, after all.”

  


The aunts in question looked at each other. “Wait… seriously?” Gretchen asked, dumbfounded.

  


“Not now! But, in a few years… I think she could use being under your tutelage.”

  


Cassie and Gretchen looked at each other, then at the baby. This was going to be one of the best chapters of their lives, they were both sure of it.

  


─────⋆⋅🔆🌙⋅⋆ ─────


End file.
